iAll That
by UberVenkman
Summary: In a series of short stories, the iCarly gang meets various members of All That!
1. Prologue

**This is a message to all readers. I was unable to finish the Christmas story. Also, I decided that the Blast Lab was effecting how the stories were going, so my explanation is that they transferred to a different school. I'll have them make occasional appearances, but for now, they are officially…how should I say this? Dead.**

**Now that that's been cleared up, I present to you, iAll That! This is more of various stories making up one story. It'll pay tribute to All That, an SNL type show that aired on Nickelodeon from 1994-2005. Among the cast members who later went on to become successful actors included Kenan Thompson, Amanda Bynes, Kel Mitchell, and Nick Cannon. I hope you enjoy these stories.**


	2. Repairman

"I'm Carly!"

"I'm Sam!"

"I'm Freddie!"

"Shut up!"

"And this is ICARLY!"

"Shut up?" Freddie asked looking over.

"No one's paying you to talk," Sam replied.

"No one's paying me at all!" Freddie complained.

"SHUSH!" Sam snapped.

"Today on iCarly…" Carly began.

"…we're gonna show you how to really destroy your homework!" Sam finished.

"Bring out the homework!" Carly yelled.

Gibby rolled in with a small trolley covered in papers.

"We have here Sam's history homework from winter break!" Carly said.

"I'm gonna be sent to Principal Franklin's office again!" Sam screeched.

"Turn on the shredder, Gibster!" Carly yelled.

"Sure thing," Gibby said. He flicked a button. The shredder flickered on.

"Commence shredding!" Sam announced.

She took a sheet of paper and shredded it.

Carly took a sheet of paper and shredded it.

Gibby took a piece of paper, but as he started to shred it, the shredder made a weird noise and stopped.

"What happened?" Carly asked.

"I think it's broken," Freddie said, tapping it.

There came a loud whistling sound, as if something was coming down from the sky.

"What's that?" Gibby asked, looking up.

There was a loud bang, and a man in suspenders with several repair gadgets and a large R on his chest came crashing through the ceiling.

"Agh! What was that?" Carly shrieked, jumping back.

He stumbled up and shouted, "That was me! I'm…**REPAIRMAN-MAN-MAN-MAN-MAN-MAN!**"

"Umm, who does their own echo?" Freddie asked.

"SHUT YOUR HEAD HOLE!" Repairman yelled.

"So, you're a repairman?" Gibby asked.

"I'm the Repairman!" Repairman replied. "I can repair anything and everything!"

"Oh yeah?" Sam asked sarcastically. "Can you fix the hole you just made in our roof-roof-roof-roof-roof-roof?"

Repairman looked up. "NO!" he replied. "That roof is already repaired!"

"But you destroyed it!" Carly complained.

"Destroyed it my butt!" Repairman replied. "Now there's a shredder that needs repairing, and repair it I shall!"

He looked at the shredder, made measurements with a tape measurer, sniffed it and licked it. "Tastes like chicken!" he screamed excitedly. "I have finished my inspection! It's time for repairing! Marty, bring in the repairing ball!"

There was a loud crash, and a wrecking ball came crashing into the studio and knocked the shredder to pieces.

"Stop this guy!" Sam yelled.

"On it!" Gibby yelled, starting to take his shirt off.

The wrecking ball swung back and knocked Gibby into the car. The car alarm went off.

"I think I broke the car!" Gibby moaned.

"I can repair it!" Repairman yelled. "Marty, aim the repairing ball to that car!"

"No, no no no no…" Gibby pleaded. The wrecking ball slammed into the car, and Gibby's crotch. Gibby fainted and rolled off the car.

"You broke his…" Sam began, but Carly covered his mouth.

"I'll handle this!" Freddie yelled, handing the camera to Carly and Sam. He walked over to give Repairman a piece of his mind.

The wrecking ball swung and slammed into Freddie. Freddie flew backwards and onto Carly.

"We're close together," he grunted, proving that pain doesn't stop flirtations.

"Hello, police?" Sam said through her phone. "We've got some wacko and he's destroying our webshow. Could you send a squad car to…hello?" Everyone who could move looked over. Repairman had thrown a hammer at the telephone line that was outside of the window, destroying it.

"Looks like he cut the line," Sam groaned.

"I'll repair it!" Repairman yelled. He climbed out the window and jumped onto the line. He did a tightrope act that even Phillipe Petit would be impressed by, then began destroying the line. The lights in the entire building shut off.

The police arrived. "Where is he?" one of them asked.

Sam pointed out the figure of Repairman destroying the line.

"Sir, this is the police!" an officer yelled through a loudhailer. "Please remove yourself from the premises of the telephone pole!" He groaned. "I think my loudhailer's broken," he groaned.

"I'll repair it!" Repairman said excitedly. He jumped up and into the studio again. An officer was ready with a pair of handcuffs.

"Do you need anything repaired?" Repairman asked as he was pulled out of the building.

"Ok, so things on iCarly didn't exactly go the way we planned them too," Carly said. "Ow, my back hurts."

"Would you like me to massage it?" Freddie asked.

"Stay behind the camera, Fredward!" Sam snapped.

"But we'll continue by shredding paper with our bare hands!" Carly announced.

"I like that!" Gibby said, grabbing paper.

Carly and Sam looked at him strangely, and shrugged.

"Ah!" Gibby complained. "I got a paper cut!"

Repairman ran into the studio, still handcuffed. "I can repair it!" he yelled, starting to grab his hammer. The policemen ran in and pulled him out.

I seriously hope he doesn't decide to repair the police car, or else the gang is in trouble.


	3. Dullmont Junior High

The iCarly gang walked into Dullmont Jr. High.

"I can't believe Ridgeway's being fumigated," Sam groaned.

"I left all my stuff in the locker!" Carly complained. "And I can't get access to it until next month!"

"Where'd you get that stuff, Sam?" Freddie asked, looking over at Sam, who was obviously not carrying her own books.

"I snatched them from Bobby this morning," Sam replied.

They looked around. Bobby was running around frantically in the hallway.

Suddenly, a strange old man in a coach suit ran up to Bobby.

"HEY YOU!" he screeched. "YOU'RE RUNNING AROUND THE HALLWAYS WITHOUT A HALL PASS!"

"But it isn't class time yet!" Bobby complained.

"NOT MY PROBLEM! I'M SENDING YOU TO PRINCIPAL PIMPELL'S OFFICE!"

"Pimple?" Sam snickered.

"HEY, YOU!" the man yelled, looking at Sam. "YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE ALSO GOING TO PIMPELL'S OFFICE!"

"Who are you to tell us where we go?" Sam asked.

"I'M COACH KREETON!" he screeched.

"You sir, are one step away from our nasty doorman Lewbert," Freddie muttered.

"SHUT UP!" Coach Kreeton yelled. "YOU'VE EARNED YOURSELF DETENTION!"

"Hold it," Sam said, putting her arm around Kreeton's shoulder. "We'll go to detention, and you can feel better and have a nice cup of tea."

"Goood…" Coach Kreeton said, starting to calm down.

"And then…" Sam chucked him out a nearby window. "You can go to the hospital."

"Oh, the life I live is sad," Coach Kreeton groaned from the ground.

* * *

The gang walked into the classroom and took a set of seats next to a group of kids.

"So, who's our teacher?" Carly asked, leaning over to a boy nearby her.

"Miss Fingerly," said the boy. "She's a psychotic teacher who only tries to keep us straight and narrow, no matter how. You know, she once taught with an arrow in her throat. Another time, she had a lot of novicane in her mouth after a dentist appointment, and we couldn't understand a word she said."

"Carly," Carly said, holding out her hand, although with a bit of hesitance.

"Josh. Josh Server," said the boy, shaking hands.

"Morning, class!" a cheerful voice said.

Everyone turned around. A strangely fat woman walked into the room.

"That's Miss Fingerly," Josh muttered, slumping into his chair.

"Now, class," Miss Fingerly announced. "I'm going to take attendance. Amanda Bynes?"

"Here."

"Kenan Thompson?"

"Here."

"Kel Mitchell?"

"I love orange soda!"

"A simple 'here' would do."

"Oh, uhh, here."

"Nick Cannon?"

"Here."

"Angelique Bates?"

"Here."

"Dan Schneider?"

"Here."

"Jamie Lynn Spears?"

"Here."

"Danny Tamberelli?"

"Here."

"Josh Server?"

"Can't we say something other than 'here'?"

"Thank you. Now to welcome our guests from Ridgeway, who came while their school is fumigated.

"Hi," Carly said. "We're from iCarly!"

Everyone gave her a dull look. Carly slunk into her chair.

"Now, time for our problems," Miss Fingerly said. "Say a one kid is 1000 feet away from a paper shredder and is holding last night's homework. Another kid is 245 feet away from the shredder with last night's homework. The 1st kid leaves at 3:45 and runs to the shredder. The second kid leaves at 3:46 and walks to the shredder. At what time will I run up to them and send them to the principal's office for attempting to get rid of their homework?"

Freddie raised his hand. "Umm, 3:47?"

"Correct, Fredward!" Miss Fingerly announced.

"It's Freddie!" Freddie screamed before he could stop himself.

"Ahem!" Miss Fingerly snapped. "Now, can you please show the class how you got that answer?"

Freddie opened his mouth to protest. He closed it and walked very slowly to the board. He began writing various formulas that didn't even make sense.

Finally he walked back to his seat and sat firmly, hoping to never open his mouth again.

"Is every teacher as weird as her?" Carly asked the girl named Amanda.

"You should see the others," Amanda replied. "Miss Fingerly's a molehill compared to them."

* * *

The gang went to the cafeteria later that day.

"I hope they have really good food," Freddie muttered.

"Indeed we do!" a fat lunch lady yelled from behind the counter.

"Umm, who are you?" Carly asked.

"I'm Miss Piddlin!" the lunch teacher shrieked. "We have the healthiest and best food ever!"

"Peas?" Sam asked, eyeing the menu with obvious disgust.

"Indeed!" Miss Piddlin replied. "We've got peas! We've got baked peas, sautéed peas, lunch peas, and Julian fried peas!"

"Got anything other than peas?" Freddie asked.

"Pea juice!" Miss Piddlin screeched, holding up a green carton. "Imagine whirled peas!

"I'm not eating here!" Sam complained, starting to leave.

"Hold it right here, Missy!" Miss Piddlin snapped, grabbing Sam by the collar. "All I'm asking you is to give peas a chance!"

"Aww, here it goes!" Kel yelled, running out of the room.

"Julio, bring some guitars!" Miss Piddlin screeched.

"Give Peas a Chance…" Julio began singing while plucking.

"Let's go," Carly said.

"Right behind you," Freddie said. "Wait, where's Sam?"

A suspicious looking Sam walked up to them carrying a bowl covered with peas and eating some.

"What? They're pretty good," she said innocently.

Carly grabbed the bowl and threw it at Miss Piddlin, temporarily rendering her unconscious. The gang proceeded to run out of the cafeteria that was weirder than Spencer and Lewbert combined.

Hold it, that would be a bit stranger than weird, right? Oh, well.

* * *

Freddie walked into the bathroom. Phew! What a stench!

He found Gibby flossing his teeth.

"Why are you flossing your teeth?" he asked. "Do you know how unsanitary this place is?"

"You wouldn't know unsanitary if it burped in your face!" a voice screeched.

Gibby and Freddie looked towards the stalls. A strange janitor who needed a shave was mopping the floor with some unsavory liquid.

"And you are?" Freddie asked.

"I'm Janitor Gaseous!" the janitor yelled.

"Why'd you interrupt our conversation?" Gibby asked.

"Because you kids think you're so smart with your insults to bathroom-kind!" Janitor Gaseous replied. "For all I care, you can just squat your big mouth and rot your big lungs! Squat and Rot!" And he let out a magnificent burp.

There was an awkward pause.

"Umm, say that last line again?" Freddie said nervously.

"Squat and Rot!" Janitor Gaseous yelled again, and let out another burp.

"Hey, I can do that!" Gibby said. "Squat and Rot!" And he let out a burp.

"You got the hang of it brother!" Janitor Gaseous yelled. "Squat and Rot!" BURP!

"Hey, it's easier if you have your shirt off!" Gibby said excitedly. He removed his shirt and screeched. "Squat and Rot!" BURP!

"Let me try that!" Janitor Gaseous said.

Freddie didn't wanna know what was under the Janitor's shirt. He went running out the door without getting a chance to relieve himself.

Carly and Sam were outside.

"What's wrong?" Carly asked.

"We are getting out of here!" Freddie screeched.

* * *

The gang ran towards the door.

"We've almost reached freedom!" Freddie breathed.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, MISSY'S!" a voice screeched.

"Oh, boy," Sam groaned.

"Why do people here like the word 'Missy?'" Freddie said with amusement. Sam snickered, agreeing.

"IT BUILDS CHARACTER!" Coach Kreeton screamed, although his appearance was not really helping; he was covered in bruises and branches.

"YOU ALL ARE GOING TO SEE PRINCIPAL PIMPELL IN HIS OFFICE RIGHT NOW!" Coach Kreeton yelled.

"I'll hold him up. You guys go find an escape route," Sam said.

Carly and Freddie ran, although why they followed Sam's orders is still unknown.

Sam took out a large hammer and began banging Coach Kreeton on his head.

* * *

Carly and Freddie ran around. They found a door an opened it. Perhaps they would've been smart if they'd noticed the words "PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE" on the glass.

In any case, they ran in. Before they could run out in horror, they realized they'd been spotted.. A red-headed woman was typing on the desk. She looked very weird, and was eyeing them.

"Are you Irish?" Freddie asked.

"Oh, how kind of you to ask!" the woman replied in a very high pitched voice. "I'm afraid the answer is no!"

"Umm, who are you?" Carly asked.

"I am Tandy Spork!" the woman said cheerfully.

"Umm, Miss Spork…?" Freddie began.

"Call me Tandy!" Tandy interrupted.

"Tandy," Freddie said slowly. "Could you let Principal…uh, 'Pimpell'…know that we were sent here by Coach Kreeton?"

"Certainly!" Tandy said, grabbing a phone. "Hello, Mr. Pimpell? 2 students from Ridgeway…"

"3," Carly corrected. "Sam's on her way."

"3 students," Tandy continued, without the slightest sign of annoyance. "Were sent here by Coach Kreeton…How should I know? I'm just sending them in!" She hung up. "The principal will be here shortly. You may enter his office."

Sam walked in. She held up a taser. "I'm sure Coach Kreeton won't be bothering us for a long time," she said.

"I'm sorry, but tasers are not permitted on campus," Tandy said officially. "Please give me the taser."

"Sure thing," Sam said. She walked up to Tandy and stuck the taser next to her abdomen. There was a weird pulsating sound, and Tandy fell over.

"Umm, thank you?" Carly said a bit confused.

"No problem!" Sam said, walking towards the door into the office.

* * *

"This is certainly an interesting office," Carly said modestly, looking around.

"What's with all these pictures of pimples?" Sam asked, looking at a nearby poster.

"Becaush I have a largesh pimple on my foreheadsh," came a strange voice.

The gang jumped and turned around. A large man came in, with a strange pimple on his forehead.

"Eww, it's pulsating!" Carly hiccupped.

"Thank you," the man replied.

"Who are you?" Freddie asked.

"I am Prinshipal William…Bainesh…Pimpell." He emphasized his P's.

"Umm, hello, Mr. Pimpell," Carly said. "Coach Kreeton sent us in."

"Well, goodnesh grashiosh!" Principal Pimpell exclaimed. "If it weren't for Coach Kreeton we wouldn't be here!" He smiled; he had gotten through an entire sentence with lishping—I mean lisping.

"How sho?" Sam asked. "I mean so!"

"You shee, I hired Kreeton to be a role model for the kidsh," said Principal Pimpell. "And while he can be annoying shometimesh, he'sh a real role model for ush all! You can bet it on my pimple!"

"Again with the pimple?" Carly asked. "What's so great about the pimple?"

"Itsh a pulshating one!" Principal Pimpell announced. "It wash onshe much bigger. It wash a shtresh pimple. I became a prinshipal to get rid of it!"

"Like Lewbert's wart," Freddie muttered.

"I guess it didn't work," Sam said, grimacing.

"On the contrary," Principal Pimpell said. "It hash gotten shmaller shinsh I came here!"

"Eww!" Carly exclaimed.

"Back to Coach Kreeton!" Principal Pimpell continued. "He probably overreacted to your behavior in the hallwaysh. I'm sure he'll be shorry."

"Yeah, I think I might've tased him earlier," Sam said guiltily.

"Typical," said Principal Pimpell. "He'sh alwaysh getting pershonal pain inflicted on him!"

"Umm, he said something about detention," Carly said.

"Of coursh," Principal Pimpell replied. "I give you 3 monthsh detention!"

"But we're only gonna be here for at least 2 weeks!" Freddie complained.

"This dude's taking too long," Sam said. She took out the taser, switched it on, then threw it at Principal Pimpell. It hit him square on the face. The pimple made a funny noise.

"I'm getting out of here before I meet another teacher!" Carly said, jumping out of her chair and running out the door. Sam and Freddie followed closely behind.

* * *

As they ran down the hall, they met Coach Kreeton.

"YOU KIDS AREN'T GETTING AWAY AGAIN—" he began to say before Sam pushed him out the window.

"Well," Sam muttered. "Not all guys have a happy ending."

* * *

**Just a little note to announce that today is my birthday!**


	4. Miss Hushbum

Carly and Freddie walked up the library steps.

"Hey, this is like romance, huh?" Freddie asked. "2 friends alone, studying for tomorrow's test…you know, together."

"We would have been 3 friends if Sam hadn't gotten 2 days in Juvie," Carly groaned.

"I told her that guy in the suit buying an apple was the mayor!" Freddie complained.

Carly opened the door to the library and walked in. Freddie followed.

The 2 sat down and began to read their history books.

"So in 1887, a man…" Carly began reading before she was interrupted.

"QUIET!" the librarian screamed. "THIS IS A LIBRARY! DON'T TALK SO LOUDLY; YOU'RE DISTURBING THE OTHER PEOPLE!"

"No duh," Carly whispered.

The librarian proceeded to put the library speakers on full blast and began playing music that sounded a lot like "American Idiot."

A blonde girl got up and walked over to the librarian. "Excuse me, ma'am," she said. "But could you turn your…?"

"QUIET, YOU IDIOT!" the librarian screeched. "YOU'RE DISTURBING THE PEOPLE!"

"But your music is too…" the girl said, a bit scared.

"GET OUT OF MY LIBRARY BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT!" the librarian screamed. She grabbed the girl by her collar and threw her through the front door. There was a loud crash as the girl stumbled down the steps and out onto the sidewalk, before running away from the library.

"ANY MORE JOKERS?" the loud librarian screamed to the other kids.

Everyone looked back into their books.

The librarian got up and took out a large power drill. She held up a sign that said "QUIET! THIS IS A LIBRARY!" before loudly drilling the sign onto one of the walls.

A boy went up to her. "Excuse me, but that drilling's bothering…"

"SHUT UP! THIS IS A LIBRARY!" the librarian screamed, aiming the drill at the boy.

The boy grabbed his books and ran out into the street through the broken door.

"ANYONE ELSE WANNA PIECE OF ME?" the librarian yelled.

Everyone mouthed "No."

"GOOD!" the librarian screamed.

Carly held up a sign to Freddie. "This woman's insane," it wrote.

Freddie nodded in agreement.

The librarian grabbed a large bell and began hitting it loudly with a hammer.

Another boy walked up to her and said. "Umm, ma'am, that dinging is getting…"

"GET OUTTA HERE! THIS IS A LIBRARY!" the librarian screamed.

The boy ran out the door, with a hammer following closely behind him.

The librarian then grabbed a leaf blower and turned it on. Books and papers flew everywhere.

Carly jumped out of her chair and ran up to the librarian.

"Excuse me!" she yelled. "But your leaf blower is disturbing everyone…"

"GET OUT OF THIS LIBRARY! YOU'RE ANNOYING EVERYONE!" the librarian yelled. She aimed the leaf blower at Carly's face. The blast was so strong that Carly's skin would've been ripped off if the crowd of kids running out of the library hadn't pulled her away.

Soon, the library was deserted. The librarian looked around, shrugged, and sat down at her desk to finish up paperwork.

"Finally some peace and quiet," she said.


	5. The Spice Boys

"Ok, next on iCarly…"

"We're gonna have our very special guests!"

"Give it up for…"

"THE SPICE GIRLS!"

There was an awkward pause.

"Umm, we said..." Carly began.

"THE SPICE GIRLS!"

"Ok, where are they?" Sam asked.

Freddie looked behind him. A guy with a headset on ran up to him and handed him a sheet. Freddie read it and turned the camera on himself.

"The Spice Girls couldn't make it," he said, annoyed. "They got creeped out when Spencer started flirting with them with a faux British accent, so they ran out of the apartment."

"Well this is just great!" Carly groaned. "They were our big number."

"But, umm, we've got a new singing group!" Freddie said awkwardly. He looked closely at the note and bopped the guy on the head. "Are you serious?" he snapped. The guy regretfully nodded.

"Uh, give it up for the Spice Boys," Freddie said, turning the camera on Carly and Sam.

"Uh, yay," Carly and Sam said awkwardly.

A group of boys came running in, one clad in pink and very hairy, another with a sweaty afro, another guy with another afro, and some guy in a sweatshirt. Being carried with them was a skeleton.

"Yo, we're the Spice Boys!" the pink guy yelled. He spoke in a British accent that sounded very fake.

"We're here to sing!" the sweaty guy yelled.

"Gorgon heapster bob!" the white guy yelled.

"Oh my god, we're on iCarly! It's the best place a nerd can—" the sweatshirt guy started to say before everyone glared at him. "I mean, Whaddup?" he said awkwardly.

"Oh, shut it! Let's sing!" the pink guy sang. "Oh darling…"

"SHUT UP!" Sam yelled. "First of all, who are you?"

"I'm Hairy Spice!" the hairy guy yelled. "So named because I have the most hair!"

"I'm Sweaty Spice!" the sweaty guy screamed. "And wowsers, are you girls hot!"

"Oh, brother," Carly said, rolling her eyes.

"Pipster porkinshmike!" the afro guy said.

"He said, "I'm Mumbly Spice!"" said the sweatshirt fellow. "And I'm Burt Spice…I mean Spice Cube!"

"What's with the skeleton?" Sam asked, looking at the skeleton.

"This is Dead Spice!" Hairy Spice said. "And he's excited to be here, aren't you, Dead?"

Dead Spice just sat there with his mouth wide open, but the Spice Boys acted like he was screaming in excitement.

"Umm, so, siddown, Spices," Sam said, glaring at Freddie. "I trust you are rich?"

"Oh yes, we're very rich!" said Sweaty Spice.

"You see, if you multiply the cost of all our income, the money we pay for the bank, and the money we borrow, we make about…" Spice Cube started to say before everyone glared at him. "I mean, how should I know?"

"Do you have anything valuable?" Carly asked, scratching her palm.

"Holy cow, you're valuable for me!" Sweaty Spice said, walking up to Carly. "Smell my sweat!"

"Why should I…?" Carly began to say before fainting from the smell.

"She needs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!" Freddie yelled, running over. He started applying pressure on the stomach, but before he could resuscitate, Sam pushed him out of the way and pounded her fist on the spot where Carly's heart was. Carly sputtered.

"Ow!" she complained, looking at Sam.

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"Sweat-face's hair smelled terrible!" Carly snapped.

"Smell it again!" Sweaty said, moving closer to Carly.

Sam balled her fists and gave Sweaty a good square one in the chin. Sweaty Spice fell backwards onto Mumbly Spice.

"Hurken smorkmeister!" Mumbly screamed.

"As you were asking, yes we have stuff valuable!" Spice Cube said. "We have gold, which has the chemical symbol Au on the periodic table of elements, number 79, which means it's protons and electrons are…I mean, we're the richest men known!"

"We've got gold bars in each of our pockets!" Hairy Spice yelled.

Everyone (save for Dead Spice, of course) pulled a gold bar out of their pockets.

As they were doing this, a masked robber snuck up behind them through the window. He grabbed the gold bars and ran as quickly as he could out the window.

"Hey, he robbed us!" Hairy Spice yelled.

"Crunchbunny!" yelled Mumbly Spice.

Hairy Spice dialed 911. "Hello, we got robbed by a masked robber!"

There was a loud knock on the door to the studio. A fat cop was outside.

"Open up, this is the police!" he yelled.

Carly walked over and opened the door. The cop had a large turkey breast, and he was furiously munching on it.

"Who are you?" Carly asked, shocked at seeing a fat policeman.

"I'm Jack Campbell: Fat Cop," said the police officer, taking a large bite out of his turkey breast.

"Uh, come on in," Sam said.

The two girls pulled Jack Campbell through the door—and most of the wall.

"Well, thank goodness there's a cop!" Sweaty Spice complained. "A thief just robbed us of our gold bars and ran out that window!"

"I'll look for the thief in your little fridge!" said Jack, running over to a small fridge that sat on the edge of the studio. He opened up the door and began stuffing his face with all the food that could be found in the fridge.

"Ugh, now I've gotta go shopping," Carly groaned.

"I'll handle this," Sam said. "Hey, Campbell Tomato Soup!"

"What?" asked Jack Campbell with a large piece of chocolate cake in his mouth.

"I bet the thief ran into that Inside-Out Burger across the street!" Sam said.

"I'll go find him!" Jack said, jumping out one of the windows that wasn't broken.

"Now that's just inconvenient," Freddie said, looking over.

"Now we need another detective!" Sweaty complained.

"Alack alock alook!" Mumbly agreed.

There was a crash as a guy in a trenchcoat crashed through the last unbroken window.

"That's even more inconvenient," Freddie muttered.

"Ya think?" Carly snapped.

"I hear somebody called a detective!" the detective announced. He had an oily mustache and a funny voice.

"Umm, what's with the oily mustache?" Sam asked.

"I'm Detective Dan!" the detective said.

"That doesn't answer her question," Freddie said.

"I don't care!" Detective Dan replied. "Now, what seems to be the problem?"

"Some nutcase grabbed all of our gold bars and made off with them through that window!" Hairy complained.

"He broke the hard interior by finding a weak spot in the glass," Spice Cube began to say, but stopped. "What I meant to say was, not cool!"

"Aha, but how do you folks know so much about the robbery, huh?" asked Detective Dan. "Unless, you're the thieves!"

"Are you suggesting…?" Hairy started to say.

Dan took out a nunchuk and began chucking it all over the Spice Boys. Soon, the Spice Boys were all knocked out.

"Well, I guess that wraps things up in a sticky kangaroo!" Detective Dan announced. "Case closed!"

The thief jumped back in and picked up a loan gold bar that sat in Dead's pocket. "Sorry," he said apologetically. "I forgot this on my way out."

"My condolences," Dan said, not even paying attention.

The thief tipped his hat and jumped out the window.

"Ugh, my armpit's on fire!" Hairy complained.

"That probably due to friction caused by the nunchuks," said Spice. He was in too much pain to correct himself.

There was a bang as one of the walls was broken through with an axe and a fireman jumped in. "Did someone say fire?" he screamed. "'Cause I'm Randy Quench: Volunteer Fireman, and I can solve your hot arms in a flash of water! Here comes me!"

"Wait, I don't think that's…" Carly began before being sprayed by a huge blast of water from Randy's hose.

Randy then proceeded to spray the Spice Boys. The boys, in panic, went jumping one by one out the window.

"Well, I guess my work here is done!" Detective Dan announced. "I'm Detective Dan and I'm jumping out that window to avoid being sprayed by that deadly blast of water!" He ran out the window.

"Ok, that wraps things up on iCarly…" Sam started to say before she was sprayed by Randy Quench. "That's it!" she screamed. She grabbed Quench and chucked him out the window. "And don't come back any time soon!" she screamed.

"Ok, so things on iCarly didn't quite go the way we planned," Carly said. "But it was all in good fun! That's it for iCarly!"

"Next week I'll demonstrate my punching skills with Freddie as the punching bag!" Sam said. "So, goodbye for now!"

"And we're off. Hopefully, without seeing those idiots ever again."


	6. Superdude

Spencer walked into the bank. He was going to pull some stuff out of his account so the gang could buy some new props for iCarly.

He walked up to a very sweaty woman who was at the teller desk.

"Hi, I'd like to pull some money out of my account," he said the woman.

"Account name, please," the woman said, leaning forward to write down some paperwork. Spencer revolted; wow, this woman stunk!

While Spencer waited for his extraction to be made, he watched a small kid and his girlfriend walk into the bank.

"Mark, it's nice you decided to bring me to the bank," the girl said.

"No problem, Penny Lane!" Mark replied.

"Penny Lane?" Spencer asked, looking over.

"Thaaaaaaaat's me!" Penny said excitedly. "Oh, wait. That wasn't my sketch, was it? Anyway, yeah, that's my name."

"Huh," Spencer said, looking over at the clock.

Suddenly, there was a crash as a guy dressed as a cow jumped into the bank through a window.

"I am Milk Man!" he yelled. "Mwahahahaha!"

"You could've used the front door," the bank manager said, looking at the broken window.

"I could?" Milk Man said, confused. He walked up to the door and pushed it open. "Oh. I thought it opened inwards. Besides, it's more dignified to rob a bank by using a window."

"Hey, now, y-y-y-y-you can't do that," Mark stuttered. "Or else my name isn't Mark Can't."

"Who are you to boss me around?" Milk Man asked.

"Hey, don't bother Mark Can't!" Penny Lane exclaimed.

"But I will!" Milk Man said. He grabbed Mark and threw him into a telephone booth. The door locked. There was a strange sound, and out of the booth emerged a figure.

"It's a bird!"

"It's a plane!"

"It's a pizza!"

Everyone looked over at Spencer. Spencer shrugged.

"No it ain't! It's Superdude!" Superdude exclaimed. "Defender of the innocent! I also love…cute bunnies, helping the elderly, giving economic stimulus packages to those in need…"

"Cut the chit chat!" Milk Man yelled. "So, we meet again, Superdude! And I know how to defeat you! You're lactose intolerant!"

"What's lactose intolerant?" asked one of the bystanders.

A strange girl walked out of the bank vault. "Lactose intolerance is the inability to metabolize lactose, because of a lack of enzyme lactase in the digestive system." She bowed and walked back into the vault before shutting the door.

"Umm, yeah, that sums it up," Superdude said. "I am lactose intolerant!"

"In that case," Milk Man laughed. He aimed his udders at Superdude and fired milk all over him. Superdude gasped and fainted.

"Hey, ya need a refill?" Spencer asked, pulling a carton out of his pocket.

"You have a milk carton in your pocket?" Milk Man asked.

"Doesn't everyone?" Spencer said, laughing nervously.

Milk Man took the carton and glugged it down. He jumped. "A bit different, but ok," he said. Superdude had begun to get up.

"Feel this, cute animal!" Milk Man yelled. He sprayed milk all over Superdude, but instead of weakening him, Superdude noticed that he wasn't fainting.

"Wait, what kind of milk did you give me?" Milk Man said in horror.

"Lactose free!" Spencer said, cackling before coughing and sneezing.

"Feel this, cheddar head!" Superdude yelled, taking out a bunch of Lactaid© pills out of his pocket and slamming them into Milk Man's face. Milk Man screamed and went running out of the building.

"Well, that takes care of the big cheese!" Superdude exclaimed.

Everyone, save for Spencer and the sweaty woman, laughed.

"I don't get it," the sweaty woman said before laughing with everyone else.

Spencer walked up to the sweaty woman. "Umm, I need my money…" he said. But everyone was still laughing.

"Forget it," he said, walking out the door to the bank. Maybe he'd be lucky enough to snag a $10 bill on the street.


	7. Ishboo

**They're back but will they stay?**

* * *

Freddie and Gibby walked up to a townhouse somewhere in Seattle.

"I can't believe Carly and Sam were able to bail on us for our birthday party service," Gibby groaned.

"Hey, I can't say no to Carly's innocent face!" Freddie complained.

"I thought it was their idea!"

"Who knows? They probably wanted us to make a fool of ourselves."

"Hey, maybe these kids will be entertained when I take my shirt off."

"Gibby, when you take your shirt off, you're only gonna aggravate someone's temper."

Gibby shrugged and pressed the doorbell. A loud BUZZ was heard. A guy answered the door.

"Hi, we're the iCarly birthday service," Freddie said.

"Of course, come in," said the guy, opening the door.

The 2 boys shrugged and walked into the house. There, they found a boy with a pony-tail.

"Boys, meet Ishboo," said the man. "He's a foreign exchange student."

"Hi, Ishboo," Freddie said, holding out his hand.

"Pardon me, sir," said Ishboo. "But where I come from its rude to shake hands with someone before pulling a strand of hair out of their head."

"Umm, ok then," Freddie said. He tugged at a strand of hair, but all he got was a loud "Ow!"

"Hold it," Gibby said. He walked up to Freddie and pulled out a strand as quickly as possible.

"Thank you," Freddie groaned. He shook hands with Ishboo.

"So, let's have some fun!" Gibby said before sneezing.

"Walla walla woo!" Ishboo screamed, jumping behind the couch.

"Umm, did that just happen?" Freddie asked.

"Uh, yeah. Where Ishboo comes from its customary to jump behind furniture when someone sneezes."

"So, uh, let's play some party games!" Gibby said, taking out a briefcase.

Ishboo walked up to Gibby and slammed the briefcase lid on his fingers. Gibby hopped around in pain.

"What was that for?" he screamed.

"In my country its traditional to slam the hands of a person you don't know in a briefcase," Ishboo replied.

"In your country people must have a lot of cracked knuckles!" Gibby complained.

"Ishboo's customs are a bit unusual," said the man. "And believe me; we've never gotten used to it."

"Umm, my name's Gibby," Gibby said, reaching his hand out while plucking a hair out. He winced.

"Pleasure to meet you," Ishboo said, pulling a piece of his hair out and barely wincing at all.

"Now, let's take out some party favors," Gibby said, opening the briefcase. He reached in and pulled out a pocket watch. "Oh, I was wondering where I put that," he said, scratching his head.

"Hey!" Ishboo said. He took the watch and began swinging it in front of Gibby's eyes. After a minute, Ishboo snapped his fingers. Gibby jumped up and went jumping out of the window.

"Uh, Gibby?" Freddie called.

"I'm ok!" Gibby called. "This thornbush cushioned my fall, and gave me splinters! Ow!"

"Let me guess," Freddie said. "In your country you do that to people you don't really know."

"That would have been true if I'd done this," Ishboo said, flicking Freddie between the eyes. "But in my country that's our definition of a prank."

Gibby stumbled into the house. "I think I broke my tail," he groaned.

"Ok, well, let's have a birthday lunch," Freddie said. He made a loud sneeze.

"Walla walla woo!" Ishboo yelled again, jumping behind a couch.

"As I was saying," Freddie said, giving Ishboo a funny look. "Let's order some pizza!"

The man gulped and pulled Freddie aside. "Whenever Ishboo sees pizza, he takes the pepperoni off and slams them in someone's eyes!" he said.

"Ok," Freddie said. "In that case, we'll have cake!"

"Cake!" Ishboo said, hugging Freddie's arm. Freddie groaned as Ishboo let go.

"I'm in!" Gibby said. "I brought a cake just for the birthday!"

He took out a large cake from the briefcase and began lighting candles.

"Fire!" Ishboo yelled. He grabbed an extinguisher and sprayed it on the cake.

"Ishboo!" one of the kids said. "Why'd you do that?"

"Why'd you set fire to my cake?" Ishboo asked.

"Because you're supposed to!" Freddie yelled.

"Uh, feel free to leave anytime," the mother said.

"Gladly!" Freddie yelled stumbling out of the house. Gibby followed him.

"Well, that was certainly productive, wasn't it?" Freddie said in annoyance as the two friends walked home.

* * *

**I know this chapter wasn't exactly well written, but there's only a limited number of Ishboo sketches available to the public. Also, this was written on extremely short notice.**


	8. The Lemonade Scammer

Spencer and Freddie walked down the street.

"Ok, we bought the low-quality meatballs, a neck pillow for Sam, and a pizza for dinner," Freddie said, reading off a checklist.

"Check, check and double check!" Spencer said.

"Ok, looks like we're heading home," Freddie said.

"Yo, fellows, have some lemonade!" an obnoxious little girl yelled from her stand.

"In the middle of February?" Spencer asked, looking over.

"Sorry, but we're kinda in a hurry," Freddie replied.

"I'll give you free donuts," the girl said in a tempting voice.

The 2 friends looked at each other and shrugged. "Why not?" Freddie replied.

Spencer and Freddie took the donuts and began to eat.

"Hmm, good donuts," Spencer said.

"A little…different," Freddie added, his face slowly turning red.

"Oh, did I forget to tell you? I put jalapeno juice into those donuts!" the girl said.

Freddie and Spencer looked at each other and fumed.

"Do you want some lemonade?" the girl asked innocently.

"Yes!" Spencer gasped.

"That'll be $30 bucks!" the girl said.

"What?" Freddie exclaimed. "Oh, no! We are not paying $30 bucks for some lemonade!"

"Sorry, but it's not for free!" the girl said.

"We're leaving!" Spencer said in a huff.

"1, 2, 3…" the girl said.

"GIVE US SOME LEMONADE!" Spencer yelled, pulling $60 out of this pocket.

The girl grabbed the lemonade and served them. The 2 friends gasped and got calmer.

"Ok, we are gonna sue you for this!" Freddie snapped.

"Ah, but do you want more donuts?" the girl asked.

"No!" Spencer yelled. "We do not want to be conned out of our money again!"

"But these don't have anything but real donut!" the girl replied.

"Ok," Freddie said.

"That'll be $100 bucks!" the girl said as the Spencer grabbed one.

"We aren't paying you anything!" Freddie yelled. "Come'on, Spencer!"

"You can have them for no amount of money!" the girl said.

"All right," Freddie groaned. He grabbed a donut and started eating. Spencer did the same.

"That'll be all of your merchandise!" the girl said.

"WHAT?" Spencer yelled. "You said we didn't have to pay for this!"

"I said you didn't have to pay with money!" the girl replied triumphantly.

"Ok, I admit, I praise her use of logic," Spencer said. Freddie nodded. "Well, we're still not paying!" he added. "We're leaving!"

The girl began crying loud enough to cause a bunch of passerby's to give her an odd look. "My mom will pull my fingernails out if I don't sell my lemonade!" she wailed. "And she'll send me to prison, and…"

"All right! All right!" Freddie groaned. He took the merchandise and gave it to the girl. "Happy?" he asked.

"That'll also cost you your clothing!" the girl said.

"Ahh, WHY?" Spencer and Freddie groaned as they took off their clothing and gave it to the girl.

"Happy?" Spencer shivered.

"I'm never happy," the girl replied sweetly. "Have a nice day."

"Never tell 2 freezing men to have a nice day," Freddie groaned.

"You're not a man!" Spencer said.

"It's a figure of speech!" Freddie snapped. "Come on, I'm going to get more clothes from my apartment!"

The 2 friends left in a huff. The Lemonade Scammer and yelled, "Ice cold lemonade!"

* * *

**This chapter was originally gonna feature Sam and Carly being scammed, but I figured having Freddie and Spencer being the victims made it funnier.**


	9. The Inconvenience Store

Carly and Sam walked down the street.

"Ok, a can of Blix, a jar of peanut butter, and 6 hard boiled eggs," said Carly.

"What's with the Blix?" Sam asked.

"It has only 101 calories!" Carly snapped.

"We still need to buy some…" Carly started to say.

"FAT CAKES!" Sam interrupted, screaming. A crowd of people glared at her. Sam smiled nervously and suddenly realized her shoes looked very interesting today.

"It's too late for fat cakes!" Carly complained. "It's 5:30; most of the stores are closed!"

"Not dat one," Sam said, pointing to a small store sitting in the middle of a parking lot.

"Convenience store?" Carly asked. "Come on! No one goes to…"

"Look, it's a convenience store, right?" Sam asked.

"Right…" Carly said.

"And it's here for our convenience, right?" Sam continued.

"Right…" Carly started to say before being pulled by Sam into the store.

* * *

"Funny enough," Carly said. "Convenience stores never smell like nail polish."

"Well, look at the dumbo-o-o here, Latanya!" said a strangely fat and masculine sounding woman at the counter.

"You said it, Laneesha!" a tall and skinny woman said. She was like Laneesha, only taller.

"Umm, thanks?" Sam said, turning her attention to a shelf full of fat cakes.

Carly grabbed a bag of popcorn and walked up to the counter. "If I buy this with a 20, could you give me change?" she asked.

"Well su-u-re, missy!" Latanya crowed. "'Cause, like, this be a b-a-a-nk!"

"No it ain't!" Laneesha yelled. "This be a st-o-o-re!"

"W-e-e give change!" Latanya continued, hitting Laneesha on the head with a frying pan.

Carly gave them a 20 and the popcorn. "Here's the popcorn," she said, a bit intimidated.

"And h-e-e-re's your change!" Latanya yelled, pouring a whole bucketful of pennies on Carly.

"What was that for?" Carly yelled, spitting a few pennies out of her mouth.

"That was your change!" Laneesha said, standing up. "That's what you wanted!"

"I'm leaving!" Carly said. She stamped out with her groceries, ignoring the fact that she'd left Sam behind.

"You scared away another customer!" Laneesha yelled at Latanya. Suddenly, they saw Sam eating a fat cake without paying for it.

"Hey, you buy that fat cake!" Latanya yelled.

"Not happening!" Sam said.

The 2…ah, "woman"…ran up to Sam with frying pans and baseball bats. Sam gave them the old heave-ho.

"I'm getting too old for this!" Laneesha yelled from the floor.

"Have a nice day," Sam said, grabbing a few pennies and tossing them into her pockets. She left with 10 more fat cakes.


	10. Good Burger

Ed banged the keys on the cash register. "I'm a dude, he's a dude! She's a dude, 'cause we're all dudes, yeah!"

"ED!" Mr. Bailey yelled. "If you don't stop messing with the cash register, you'll be fired!"

"Oh, cool! I love fire!" Ed said cluelessly.

"Why didn't I fire him 15 years ago?" Mr. Bailey groaned.

There was a loud ring, and in walked a fat old construction worker.

"HEY!" he yelled. "Hey hey!"

"Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?" Ed asked.

"Indeedy doo!" the man said. "My name is Lester Oakes: Construction Worker. Now why don't you get me a Good Burger, and I want ketchup!"

"Ok, here ya go!" Ed said. He handed Lester Oakes a Good Burger and sprayed him all over with ketchup.

"Hey!" Lester yelled. "Every single time for 15 years it's the same ol' routine! I'm gonna report you to the manager, crunch bunny!"

"Oh, the manager already knows me!" Ed replied.

"Ha!" Lester yelled, stamping out of the room.

As he left, a very old man walked in. "Yo, you!" he yelled.

"Welcome to Good Burger home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?" Ed asked.

"Yes, sir!" the man yelled. "My name is Bernie Kibbitz! Okay?"

"Oh, well, welcome to Good Burger, Bernie Kibbitz, ok!" Ed said cheerfully.

"Not, it's just Bernie, ok?" Bernie snapped.

"Ok, Just Bernie, ok!" Ed yelled.

"NO! IT'S JUST BERNIE! OK?"

"OK!"

"You made my hearing aid explode!" Bernie yelled, holding his ear.

"My pleasure!" Ed said, bowing.

"You make Bernie Kibbitz sooo angry!" Bernie yelled.

"You're welcome!" Ed yelled back.

Bernie stomped out loudly.

A moment later, some teen walked up to Ed with a good burger.

"Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I…" Ed began to say.

"Look, I get it, bud!" the teen yelled. "I asked for a Good Burger with nothing on it, and all you gave me was a bun!"

"Well, that's nothing on it!" Ed replied.

"Looky here, smackpants," the girl said, grabbing Ed's collar. "Mamma knows the difference between nothing on a good burger, and a meat patty!"

"But a meat patty is something!" Ed protested. "Isn't a meat patty something, Fizz?"

"A meat patty is something!" Fizz called from the drive-in window.

"Forget it!" the girl yelled.

"What's going on here?" Mr. Bailey asked, walking over.

"I asked for a good burger with nothing on it, and this nut head gave me a bun!" the girl complained.

"Ok, give us your full name and we'll make sure you're complaint reaches the higher offices," Mr. Bailey said, handing the girl a paper.

"My name is Sam Puckett, and this boys gonna hate his guts when I get through with him!" Sam yelled. "Come 'ere, you!" There was a loud crash as she flew over the counter and pushed Ed through a wall.

Carly, Freddie and Spencer had been watching from their table. They heard a loud wham and ketchup flew out of the kitchen.

"Yikes, this fight is All That," Spencer said.

"All what?" Freddie asked.

"I dunno," Spencer said. "You know, I left the computer on at home."

"My mom needs to spray me," Freddie said.

"Let's leave," Carly said. The 3 left the store as Sam and Ed fought it out in the kitchen.

* * *

**Final chapter. Since there are a limited number of All That sketches around, I only had time to make 10 chapters. But there's more on it's way from this user. Come back shortly for "iWill Have a Choice", which will feature the return of a character named Aaron Slive...only he's not Aaron Slive from my other stories, he's a different guy. Yeah.**


End file.
